Cut Off

Well... it is litterally down to the last penny for me. I'm having a major panic attack and really don't know what to do. My good friends "Lee Pomerantz" and "Sweet Pea" have helped me out greatly and I'm so appreciative but I need serious help... I need a j-o-b. I needed one months ago. I am really scared. :-(

ps. It doesn't help to hear two more people confirm that no one want to hire someone who's unemployed. That's crazy.

pps. It's also less than comforting whent the career coach I've worked with the in the past doesn't return my emails or phone calls. Perhaps she would if I could actually pay her. But, oh yeah, I need to have money for that :-(

This is a Joke, Right?

Is it just me? There should be a new rule for posting on Craigslist... learn how to use spellcheck! Especially when looking for someone "detail oriented." Detail oriented my asphalt!

Administrative Assistantant

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Date: 2010-09-13, 11:43AM EDT


Reply to: job-ujru9-1951452248@craigslist.org [Errors when replying to ads?]
------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Midtown marketing company has a long term assignment available. You must


have previous administrative experience , familiar with processing expense


reports, polite demeanor, work well under pressure and detail oriented.

I have Had It!!

I swear... I'm done. Recruiters, whether they work for a staffing firm or a direct company, they are playing games. I am tired of all of their BS! I recently applied to two positions directly and when I followed-up with the HR rep. doing the recruiting, this is what she came back with:

"The two positions are just generic postings that I have up to capture talent interested in temporary or temp to perm opportunities."

So, while I worry about how I'm going to get caught up on my back rent, this witch is posting phantom listings! I have never felt so suckerpunched in my life. I mean, what am I supposed to do with this?

Remeber "Cohan Susen"?

A few weeks ago I was contacted about participating in a focus group only to learn that because I had not earned $35,000 in the last year... um, I'm unemployed, I wouldn't be able to particpate. That really pushed me over the edge. Well, the client came back said it would be ok, that they "understood". So I got the chance to participate and I earned a little pocket money! Cohan Susen... thank you. And I'm sorry for that last post about you ;-)

Response from President Obama

Much has happened since my last post on August 20th, and apologies for my absence... but girl was very down in the dumps. I mean, who wouldn't be after this propaganda response from President Obama:


Dear Friend:

Thank you for writing. I have heard from many Americans who are losing their jobs and struggling to pay their bills. Every day, I meet with my economic advisors to make sure we are doing all we can to create good jobs and to help Americans support their families and pursue the American dream.



The American Recovery and Reinvestment Act was the first step to spur job growth and ease the pain of unemployment. This landmark law has saved or created millions of jobs here at
home in industries such as alternative energy, health care, and construction. ***By extending and increasing emergency unemployment compensation*** (Not applicable to ME because I worked for one month. I also did not earn enough to receive the regular benefit rate of $405. In essence I'm being penalized for working- honesty gets you N-O-W-H-E-R-E!) and increasing access to health insurance, the Recovery Act has also provided relief to millions of unemployed Americans, and has helped improve our Nation's economic outlook.


However, many Americans are still struggling to find employment and provide for their families. To assist workers looking for jobs, I signed into law the Worker, Homeownership, and Business Assistance Act in November, extending unemployment benefits beyond what existed in the
Recovery Act. To restore desperately needed assistance to Americans who lost their jobs in the recession, I also signed into law the Unemployment Compensation Extension Act of 2010, as
well as an extension of COBRA benefits.



My Administration is also helping Americans return to work by emphasizing job training in industries that cannot be outsourced. Recently laid-off workers receiving unemployment
benefits have new opportunities to pursue higher education and job training programs, including easier access to Pell Grants. To encourage job creation in the United States, I am replacing tax
laws that send jobs overseas with new incentives to create them here at home. Available assistance can be found online at


www.dol.gov/recovery/implement.htm or http://www.opportunity.gov/.


Together, we can help more Americans find and keep good jobs and enjoy a healthy standard of living. To find an employment center near you, select your state at:


www.dol.gov/dol/location.htm. For information on benefits and opportunities for those seeking employment, I encourage you to visit: www.dol.gov/dol/audience/aud-unemployed.htm. For career
resources, call 1-877-872-5627 or visit: www.CareerOneStop.org.


While it will take time to turn our economy around, I am confident that, working together, we will emerge from this crisis stronger than before.


Sincerely,


Barack Obama


To be a part of our agenda for change, visit: www.WhiteHouse.gov

Dear Mr. President

After hearing of my latest employment woe, a friend said I should write the President. Well, I just did that. here is the email I just sent to Mr. Obama. Let's see if he responds. Any bet takers?

Dear President Obama:


I am an unemployed woman living in a 'large city'. I have been out of work since March 2009. Because I had a temp. job for 1 month and 1 week, my new unemployment claim only entitles me to $134 in UI benefits. If I had never taken that temp job, I could have continued to receive the max. UI rate of $405. But I am honest and want to work. And now I am being penalized for it. When I search for work, recruiters tell me that their clients only want to see candidates who are employed. I'm sorry but who is employed these days? Another slap in the face is that I don't qualify for a focus group that would earn me $125. Why... because I am UNEMPLOYED! I try so hard everyday and I am continually being penalized for being out of work. With the utmost of respect, when is "change" coming my way? For an inside look, check out this link to my blog:


http://www.missunemployeddiarycom.blogspot.com/


I am smart, talented and want to work but I need the chance. Will you give me that chance President Obama? I respectfully challenge you to find me a job. If you can't help me, then this economic nightmare many are living is truly worse than I could ever imagine.


Sincerely,


Miss Unemployed

And I thought I Had Heard Them All

Yesterday I was contacted about participating in a focus group. I was asked if I watched Oprah and if I liked Jenny McCarthy and Ellen Degeneres. I'm kind of "eh" about all of them, but was willing to stretch the truth for an easy $125, and so was the woman who called me about the opportunity. Let's just call her 'Cohan Susen'. But here's where things go waaay south... when asked if I was unemployed I said yes. I was then asked if I made at least $35K because "the client wants someone who's employed and makes at least $35,000". And did I mention this person also has to watch Oprah live, 4 days a week? Is this a joke? That's totally ludicrous and impossible... and I was not willing to lie about being unemployed and broke. Why am I being punished for  being unemployed? I can't believe I can't even qualify for an f-ing focus group!! WTF is wrong with this scenario?!?!?

Seriously, I just Had These Conversations

So, it's my Monday touch base with recruiters. Let me share some of the highlites:

"Clients doen't want to see anyone who is unemployed." (Courtesy of Shiti Staffing')

"They are looking for that one in a million person." (Courtesy of 'NotRealSilver Associates')

"These hedge funds are so strict." (Courtesy of LowerCast Staffing')

And, last is my favorite...

"Enjoy the rest of your summer." (Courtesy of 'SomewhereInTheAtlantic Recruiters')


WTF?!?!?!? Um, who is employed these days? And nothing instills more confidence in me than hearing a recruiter tell me to enjoy the rest of my summer. He may as well have told me to go jump off a bridge. Happy Monday friends.... Happy mother f-ing Monday.

No Luck Here

Who didn't wish me luck? Someone must have forgotten to because no word yet on the job I applied to at Frederic Fekkai...but no worries. You know why? Because a lovely young woman from 'Cubic Zirconia Personnel' says I "...should make an appt. with her so she can place me as soon as possible." Um, what magic power does she possess that no other recruiter does? Seriously. I am not falling for that line. Again.

Do You Really Need To Ask Me That?

My mother, who means well, asked me "...are you calling the recruiters to help you find a job?" Questions like that make me go into a fit of fury... no, mom, I'm just sitting around with my fingers crossed. I suppose the irritating factor is that I have tried everything, EVERYTHING!!! For my mom to think that I haven't, that really hurts me. As well as reminds me of how dire a situation I'm really in.

This is all Storgan Manley's fault!

Wish Me Luck!!

So, a real passion of mine is cosmetics. I mastered the smoky eye at age 13 and must have several hundred dollars worth of cosmetics in my beauty arsenal. It's been my dream to work in the cosmetics industry and I just applied for a positiion with Frederic Fekkai. 2 years ago I applied to the same job and when it came time to discuss salary, there was dead air on the other end. You never want to disscuss $$$ before you get an interview; I know that now ;-) So, please wish me luck because I want to be 'Miss Employed... in the cosmetics industry!!!'

Groundhog Day!

Welcome to crazytown! I just noticed that I already regaled you with the courtesy dreckitude that is Clogap. I think I'm going to appoint Clogap, a/k/a Full O'Crap, #1 Used Car Dealership of the Year... condescending attitudes and disrespect for everyone!!! Come on down while supplies last!

However Could I Forget This Gem!

Remember my friends at Full O'Crap? Well... they officially reached Used Car Dealership status when they asked "...are you working with anyone else?" Of course, I fibbed and said "No". Full O'Crap's response... "...maybe you should be." So... are things realy bad for Full O'Crap or is she ever so tactfully rudely telling me I suck? Whatever the answer... Full O'Crap a/k/a Plogap... you can stick your Tory Burch ballet flats in your ?!$!@#% !!!

Age Discrimination?

I won't tell you my age, but I am not fresh out of college nor anywhere near retirement. But, it really gets to me when I see job listings for Executive Assistants who are 'recent grads'. Recent, as in the listing actually states '2006, 2007'. This is pretty blatant to me. You know what will happen... these sweet young things will wise up and bail. And you know what, I will be damn sure that I will be in a position to say "No thanks" when these biased companies realize they need a qualified Executve Assistant. So long sukahs!

And I'm The One Without A Job?

So, I'm trolling the admin. job listings on Craigslist when I come across a perfect listing. Or, so I thought.

"Executive Assistant-Marketing-Hegde Fund $85k + Plus Extras (Midtown)"

Take a second look. Notice the problem? The client who hired this illiterate fool to recruit for them should just cut through all BS and hire me. They'll save some money and find someone who really is a good match for them.

It's Getting Ridiculous

Two weeks  ago, a recruiter I'm working with called me in the morning and said "You must come in and meet me! I have a great job in and you need to meet my colleague before it's too late!" Usually I don't fall for this kind of BS but, I was going to be in the area anyway, so I went. The colleague ended up not being in the office "...but that was ok because he remembered meeting me already." WTF?? I have heard nothing from the recruiter. After all the effort made, nothing. I checked in today, and no answers. I am losing my patience for this. The games aren't necessary. Thanks a lot "Not so UnitedSS." You have officially reached 'Used Car Dealership of the Year' status.

Another Zinger!

During my hiatus, one of the recruiters I'm workng with, when asked about the status of jobs I've applied to, actually told me "... maybe you should be working with other recruiters."  What the hell is that supposed to mean?!? I swear... these people are such bottom feeders! Thanks a lot "GlauxCrap!"

Seriously?!?!?

Today I received an introductory email from a recruiter I met with 5 months ago... and it was the same f-ing email!!! Clearly she didn't remember me. But I sure remember killing myself to get to the appt. only be told that since I had met with someone there a year ago, she personally couldn't assist me. Well, neither could/or did the other witch, other than to make a snide comment about me wearing nice shoes in the rain. Thanks a lot Poloman Sage... it makes me feel all warm and fuzzy knowing you are "still impressed with my candidacy."

I'm back!

Miss Unemployed is back! After a brief hiatus to recover from the insanity of this horrendous job market, I am back to sharing with you the unbelievable things that come out of peoples mouths and emails. Recruiters and a crappy job market can't keep me down!

Two of the more interesting things that occurred during my hiatus involved phone interviews:

1. In the midst of a great phone interview, the interviewer stopped me cold and said "Our hiring managers need to see someone with more tenure." I'm sorry, I was LAID OFF twice! Not  my fault! I'm still a great candidate. "I understand you've been a victim." Are you kidding me?!??! A victim? This woman actually referred to me as a victim. Thanks a lot Storgan Manley!!

2. I had a good phone interview for a company I was not at all interested in. Yes. I am desperate for work but something was off... oh, I don't know, my chance for a happy future maybe? At the conclusion of the interview, I said I would be in touch to arrange a follow-up interview. I didn't. Several days later, I receive a letter saying they enjoyed speaking with me but "...we're continuing our search for someone more suited for the position." WTF?!? I didn't choose you!! Was it really necessary to turn it around on me? Thanks for nothing Siderick & Huggles!

You've Got To Be Joking!

I should have posted this morning when I was feeling great, having just reconnected with two positive recruiters. But no. I had to wait until now. I just received a rejection notice for an interview I had almost two months ago. Not by phone. Not by voicemail or email. By POSTCARD!!! For all the world to see! WTF!!! Is that what you get these days for killing yourself and trying your very best?? I have never been more insulted. Thanks a lot "TROLL."

Glimmer of Hope

I have been contacted about two potential job opportunities! Trying to keep the positive energy going :-)

Recruiters

Just now, my answer to a recruiter's question on what salary I'm looking for "Well, we are not seeing that salary anymore for the position of X."  So for a salary that is already pennies for surviving in a major city, they are suggesting a 7 digit price drop? No. Maybe they aren't seeing that salary because they have crappy clients. Sorry sister. You don't crap on Miss Unemployed and expect your next commission.

Anxiety

My anxiety level today is almost unbearable. I can't pay my rent for June and on top of that, somehow my account was inadvertently debited of over $600 so I owe that much more! "...call us if you have any questions." That's what the letter said... yes I have a question for you... "Will you give me a job?" All I need is a job. Just one job and I can get back on my feet.

Haunted by Last Job

I am being haunted by my last job. I hated everything about it: my boss, the industry, everything! But why, why, am I only being contacted for jobs in that particular industry? Is it some kind of cruel joke? Am I destined to work for another "vienna sausage fingers?"